Living in Your Birkin Bag in Retirement


“I don’t need no 401k.. I got these Birkin bags n^%”

filed under #thingsbrokepeoplesay

There’s some crackhead article running around trying to confuse broke people into having even less money in life talking about a Hermes bag is a better “investment” than x, y & z.

Namely, they compare the return of one type of hard to find Birkin bag to an investment in the stock market OVERALL since 1980, claiming the bag had a 14.2 percent annual return.

Since it is in fact so easy to fool broke people, specifically when its on something they actually want to believe or on things to help with their own desires, few will realize the article glosses over one glaringly obvious point:

…Any crackhead can compare an ASSET to an **asset class**.

An asset is anything you own of value. An “asset CLASS” is a group of similar assets that contain a majority of like characteristics.

Keurig stock (the manufacturers of the Keurig coffee machine) has had an annual growth rate of **200%** over the last 10 years. That is 200%. Averaged and annualized. Every.single.year. (overall total is about 4,000 % rate of return)

The overall stock market’s growth rate on the other hand is about 9.7% annually over the last hundred years with dividends reinvested. —> .

This means that Keurig stock can become one asset taken out of an overall asset class (the stock market) and used as an example to prove whatever you want to prove.

Other examples:

A house on the water in Manhattan beach had a 15%  compound annual growth rate over the last 20 years. The average annual appreciation of housing in America is 3.1% annually. (technically its pretty close to zero when accounting for inflation)

A 1972 Ferrari 365 has had a total price appreciation of 300% since 2008. The automobile overall (an asset class) in ADDITION to classic cars bought after the fact, has had a negative rate of return since the beginning of the Automobile. —>   

Bitcoin had a 400% rate of return in 2012-2013. Then it dropped 70% and cratered. The market for all currencies overall doesn’t even have a positive return at all.

Again, one is an asset, the other is an asset class.


So lets look at bags overall as an asset class, shall we?

For the purchaser of 12 thousand bags (similar to a market of stocks), you will have a negative 80-90% return over any 10 year span.

Basically you will lose most of your money when you’re forced to try to resale them on craigslist.

For the purchaser of 100 LUXURY bags, if unused, you will have a negative return of 30%-50% over any 10 year span. This doesn’t include the credit card interest payments you’re making on that balance. This doesn’t include the cost to clean and maintain them if you DO use them.

You literally can hope for a best case scenario as returning half your money over 10 years with your luxury bag scheme.

Thats not even a savings account.

And to do better than that you’d have to get lucky. But finding a lottery ticket with the correct numbers scratched off is only obvious AFTER those numbers have been confirmed.

Stop looking for lottery tickets, pyramid schemes, one off comparisons and flukes.

You thought Beanie babies were investments when they were rising in price but never realized stuffed animals (the asset class) were not investments. –>

This logic you, your family and those around you have used for decades is what got you in the current financial position to have to consider using a purse as a retirement vehicle to begin.

You know a whole lot about the world but your credit report says otherwise.

Don’t be foolish. Just because you want something to exist as a rule doesn’t mean it will.

Stop gambling, start investing.

Read the article here:


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