And You Thought “Ho-Ho-Ho” Was Just a Random Santa Claus Saying

All the malls across the land are currently filled with broke fucks.

As all of the malls across America fill up more and more each winter day with broke fucks who can’t pay their bills, I too show up at the mall. But its not for what you think. Trust me when I tell you: if you ever see me in the mall its because I’m there checkin up on my bitches. Allow me to explain.

A woman named Becky spends all of her money in a Gucci retail store on Christmas gifts for herself and select family members. By doing so, she then overdraws her account and starts using her American express for every day purchases including gas.

The wealthy like myself, immediately begin to pimp her with Exchange Traded Funds, Index Funds and Individual Stocks. This is exactly how:

Mutual Funds are essentially pools of money given to portfolio or money managers who then invest that money according to whatever they describe is that fund’s primary objective. The problem is traditional mutual funds charge too effin much. There are upfront fees, backend fees, expense ratios and the whole 9. Whats worse is historically speaking, these funds fail to beat the average return for the stock market as a whole.

So what do you do? Well its really what John Bogle of Vanguard did. He introduced the Index Fund.

Index funds ARE mutual funds only they have no one person managing them. There are no typical portfolio manager fees and 3% this and that. The expense ratio is often 0.25 percent or lower. This is because the company that offers you the Index fund doesnt do any trading, they dont try and time the market, its simply a computer that buys all of the same types of stocks in a specific Index.

An index of the same types of stocks could include one for all emerging markets overseas stocks, it could be made up of all clothing and retail stocks, it could be made up of all automotive stocks. But the key is that they buy pieces of the stock market and seperate them into indexes and hold them forever. Since before the beginning of time practically, this strategy has beaten 80% of typical mutual funds. For instance an index fund of all small company stocks that have been beaten up in price (called a small company value index fund) has returned about 18% since 1964.

And if you didnt know, 18% is HUGE when most mutual funds may return 4%-6% on a good day.

So to pimp the lady above, since shes addicted to consumerism, you’d buy the following investments:

A. The “VCR”  aka The Vanguard Consumer Discretionary Exchange Traded Fund (which is the same as an Index fund but is easer to purchase. It makes money from her expensive clothing purchases at places like GUCCI);range=5y

B. The Vanguard Financials index fund aka “VFAIX”,  which holds a group of banking/financial stocks, will make money for you by pimping her on that overdrafting shes doing on her bank account.

And finally C. You would buy American Express stock itself (AXP) and play all of the interest she’ll be paying to the credit card company very soon. All because she wanted to be a Gucci whore and lives her life based on what people think.;range=my;indicator=volume;charttype=line;crosshair=on;ohlcvalues=0;logscale=on;source=undefined


This is exactly how big money is pimping you everyday. I’m just showing you a peak behind the curtain. As blacks and latinos, we do NOT have to take part in this and instead profit off of America’s addiction to consumerism. But unfortunately we spend more than any other race in terms of percentage of our income

Aren’t you tired of it always being US who fund these guys college funds by now??? Now do you see what I’m trying to do here??


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