And You Thought “Ho-Ho-Ho” Was Just a Random Santa Claus Saying

All the malls across the land are currently filled with broke fucks.

As all of the malls across America fill up more and more each winter day with broke fucks who can’t pay their bills, I too show up at the mall. But its not for what you think. Trust me when I tell you: if you ever see me in the mall its because I’m there checkin up on my bitches. Allow me to explain.

A woman named Becky spends all of her money in a Gucci retail store on Christmas gifts for herself and select family members. By doing so, she then overdraws her account and starts using her American express for every day purchases including gas.

The wealthy like myself, immediately begin to pimp her with Exchange Traded Funds, Index Funds and Individual Stocks. This is exactly how:

Mutual Funds are essentially pools of money given to portfolio or money managers who then invest that money according to whatever they describe is that fund’s primary objective. The problem is traditional mutual funds charge too effin much. There are upfront fees, backend fees, expense ratios and the whole 9. Whats worse is historically speaking, these funds fail to beat the average return for the stock market as a whole.

So what do you do? Well its really what John Bogle of Vanguard did. He introduced the Index Fund.

Index funds ARE mutual funds only they have no one person managing them. There are no typical portfolio manager fees and 3% this and that. The expense ratio is often 0.25 percent or lower. This is because the company that offers you the Index fund doesnt do any trading, they dont try and time the market, its simply a computer that buys all of the same types of stocks in a specific Index.

An index of the same types of stocks could include one for all emerging markets overseas stocks, it could be made up of all clothing and retail stocks, it could be made up of all automotive stocks. But the key is that they buy pieces of the stock market and seperate them into indexes and hold them forever. Since before the beginning of time practically, this strategy has beaten 80% of typical mutual funds. For instance an index fund of all small company stocks that have been beaten up in price (called a small company value index fund) has returned about 18% since 1964.

And if you didnt know, 18% is HUGE when most mutual funds may return 4%-6% on a good day.

So to pimp the lady above, since shes addicted to consumerism, you’d buy the following investments:

A. The “VCR”  aka The Vanguard Consumer Discretionary Exchange Traded Fund (which is the same as an Index fund but is easer to purchase. It makes money from her expensive clothing purchases at places like GUCCI)

http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=VCR+Interactive#symbol=VCR;range=5y

B. The Vanguard Financials index fund aka “VFAIX”,  which holds a group of banking/financial stocks, will make money for you by pimping her on that overdrafting shes doing on her bank account.

http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=VFAIX

And finally C. You would buy American Express stock itself (AXP) and play all of the interest she’ll be paying to the credit card company very soon. All because she wanted to be a Gucci whore and lives her life based on what people think.

http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=AXP+Interactive#chart1:symbol=axp;range=my;indicator=volume;charttype=line;crosshair=on;ohlcvalues=0;logscale=on;source=undefined

**REMEMBER: IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THE WHORE FOR SHAREHOLDERS LIKE MYSELF THEN STAY OUT OF THE MALL AND LIVE LIKE NOONE ELSE SO THAT ONE DAY YOU CAN LIVE LIKE NOONE ELSE!!**

This is exactly how big money is pimping you everyday. I’m just showing you a peak behind the curtain. As blacks and latinos, we do NOT have to take part in this and instead profit off of America’s addiction to consumerism. But unfortunately we spend more than any other race in terms of percentage of our income

Aren’t you tired of it always being US who fund these guys college funds by now??? Now do you see what I’m trying to do here??

The (rough) Intro to my New Book

About the Author

I’ll try and keep this as short, sweet and as focused on finance as possible. Many readers of this book are also frequent visitors of my blog and have read this story previously. For those that haven’t, sit back and grab a snack or something. At any rate, like many of you, my financial autobiography starts in college.

I acted a fool in college and a Cal State was a joke to me.

The year was 1998 and from the first time I set foot on campus, I knew my plans had nothing to do with graduating. I was there to do something else. I wasnt sure what yet, but I knew it involved making lots and lots of money. This was perfect. I figured I could do this and at the same time have my loans & government grants “pay” me to live around a bunch of cute girls and…to…well…also make lots and lots of money. Plus I could handle myself… my ability to make money would always overshadow any loan amount I would ever take out. Also lets not forget that I had just graduated from a prestigious magnet program and had the ability to get into any school I chose should I have cared. The fact is, I never once pictured myself not working FOR myself at the end of the day anyways.

The scenes from my first two years in school was similar to that of Seth Davis’ experience in Boiler room. From scalping student meal tickets to selling pre-made research papers, I had successfully completed my freshman year. Then selling multiple classmates’ recently exposed pornos for $10 a pop (CSUN was and still is the capital of the porn star educational program) and starting a HUGE underground pirated media operation, I had officially completed my sophmore year. I was clearly not interested in class. I was and always have been…good…with creating money. This was the obvious part. The not so obvious part began to secretly take form behind my back as I decided it was now time to push the envelope ..just a little bit. Enough with the $4500 Acura Integra I was working with…it was time to match my income with a newly created image. And I realized I could do this rather quickly vs saving for it…all I needed to do was tap my credit for a specific type of loan.

Around the year 2000, I had more than enough money than I needed to be happy with…and MORE than enough money than anyone in college even deserved. But this was LA and that wasnt about to stop my next move. My impatience had reached a fever pitch, due largly to the fact that the more money I was making, the more money I felt I had to show I made. In addition, the more money I showed I made, the more GIRLS I realized I got. But wait…with the more girls I got, the more money I would need to keep making to maintain that lifestyle right? Who gave a f*ck. Plus, I was fresh outta Westchester High. Who really dreamed of graduating and working in a cubicle for the rest of their lives? Where I came from, we all thought we would either be Puff Daddy, Bill Clinton or JESUS. So I kept the lifestyle going…

Beginning of the “end”.

JP Lynn’s 5 Key Rules for New Investors

I’ve discussed trading on this site in great detail, but one thing I haven’t shed enough light on is what to do if you are a new long term investor in the market. The following five rules were handpicked by me and have both helped me generate huge amounts of money and save huge amounts of money from not doing anything stupid. And thats what this is all about. Its not about how much you expect a stock to go up in value. If you take care of what you do while things are going to the downside, the upside will always work itself out.

Rule #1: The first rule for investing in stocks: Never ever ever sell ANYTHING for a loss! Investing is just like sex. A smart person only has sex with people they wouldnt mind having a baby with…incase sh*t happens. Don’t go around sleeping with any and every hoodrat because you might end up with the itch for life after your best laid plans dont come to fruition. If you stick to this rule, it will guide you away from some extremely retarded investment decisions.

Besides, if you wouldnt want to own something for 10 years why are you even holding it for 10 seconds?? If youre just starting out investing and you dont understand how this rule works..you better start slow and be confident in your purchase because you are now in a partnership with that stock for richer or for poorer. If you see something else you want to jump on and are thinking of taking money out of a losing stock, you’d better find some additional funds to deposit into your account because its not happening under my watch. (yes I am watching you).

So for real, if the stock you bought is currently less in value than when you bought it, there is no sell until it gets back into positive territory! Got it? Good.

Q:”So What DO You Do For a Living?” A: Not a Damn Thing…

Many people know I do debt consultation for the legions of minorities everyone else in society has given up on. I do this because I have strong beliefs that we as minorities are systematically set up to lose financially from birth. Many of you also know that as of right now, I do this for a little over 500 people and that with every single last one of those people, I charge them absolutely nothing. Again, its what I’m passionate about and have developed a ton of knowledge/know how on. If I don’t make the best out of what I’ve learned, then it really is a waste now isn’t it?

Still… none of this changes the fact that at the end of the day, I need to eat just like each one of you.

So then how exactly do I make my money you ask? How do I pay my bills?

We can Learn a Lot From Our Parents (even if it isn’t what they planned on teaching us)

Many of us in the core age group on this site (25-35)  take all of the great advice we get for granted, namely the free advice we have right in front of our faces. The advice about the mistakes our parents made.

In a great post at GetRichSlowly.org, the guest author of the post, Neal, provides some advice on what you can learn from your parent’s generation:

If you know someone in their fifties (or sixties), don’t be surprised when you discover they’re afraid. I’m 52, and I checked with everyone. They confirmed it. It’s true.

Want to be a Millionaire? Just Save $10 a Day!

Are you somewhere between the ages of 25-35 and have yet to start a serious retirement plan? Maybe you haven’t started an IRA or taken advantage of your company’s 401k because you can’t ever save enough for it to be worth it? Well I’m here to wake you up. By saving JUST $10/day, every day, you could be sitting on $1,190,736.73 by the time you are retired. Don’t believe me?

The American Dream: “Go Out and Get a Home Loan!”.

Part of the American dream is to be a home owner right? So shouldn’t I go out and take advantage of all these tax credits and great incentives so I can own a home!

I’m too Scared to Lose Money Investing…so I’d Rather Buy Some Rims

Ok responsible people. This edition of “Becoming Financially Successful” has to do with growing your money. This is a very important edition as its pretty safe to say that we all know investing can be tricky.

Let’s take Chris for instance. Chris just made a 10k investment in the stock market. He currently has the possibility of making 100k by the next time he opens his eyes the following morning or seeing far less of it overnight. Now simply by him knowing this, waking up everyday tracking his portfolio can be stressful. But heres what I want you to ask yourself: if Chris never invested that 10 grand….where would it most likely have gone?

Financial Myth Busters Part 1

Financial Myth Busters Part 1

Ok responsible people. This week’s tip on becoming financially successful has to do with tackling some widely spread myths about personal finance. Some of these dirty lies are as old as time itself while some I’ve noticed have only been recently dug up out of someone’s __ . Whatever the case may be, not knowing the truth behind these myths can ultimately be the the quickest way to ensure you live check to check for the rest of your damn lives. So in part one of Financial Myth Busters, I’m going to list a couple myths followed by their respective truths that I’ve learned over the years.  Below the posts you can feel free to add some of your own. This is a fair warning though…this may offend those who are unwilling to wake up!

What an Education is Really Worth

Today, Trent over at TheSimpleDollar explored the “true” impacts of different levels of education in terms of earnings power:

Recently, I was browsing through some data from the U.S. Census when I stumbled upon a great table in the 2007 census data. On page 9 of this report, entitled Educational Attainment in the United States, one can find a very interesting table that describes the median earnings for workers aged 25 and over, sorted out by education.

For full time, year-round workers, here are the findings:

• Workers without a high school diploma earn $24,964 a year on average.
• Workers with just a high school diploma earn $32,862 a year on average.
• Workers with some college and/or an associate’s degree earn $40,769 a year on average.